Airline Snobbery and Other Snobberies

I recently flew back home using Singapore Airlines. It has actually been a while since I have used them as they were always too expensive for me to use. However, this time, they had a sale going on where a return ticket was going for only 500 pounds!

What luxury! Too long have I been stuck with other airlines where the stewardesses demonstrated the charm and personality of a rabid rhinoceros. On this trip, I actually received water when I wanted it. And without any grumpy or snide undertones as well! Not only that, they actually accommodated my constant requests to see (quite literally) everything on the duty free catalogue!

And the movies! My gosh - What does one do with over 30 movies on demand, plus another 20 tv shows! I was so stumped that I ended up spending about 30 minutes trying to figure out what to watch! You could even fast forward and rewind those scenes of Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four until climax if you wanted to!

I actually ended up not watching anything due to the immense choice, and instead whipped out my trusty Macbook to watch Heroes instead. I even used the internet check in service for the first time in my life!

Fast forward to my budget holiday to the Scottish Highlands last week using Budget Airline X - We left for the airport nice and early to catch the tube to King's Cross Station, where we were due to take the train to Luton Airport. The tube was horribly delayed, so we decided to catch a taxi to the station instead. This smart move ended up with us being caught in a jam, which led to us missing the train to Luton Airport by 1 minute. This led us to arriving at the check-in desk at Luton Airport at 11am to catch our flight at 11.35am. Despite us still having 35 minutes to go, they still refused to let us board the plane! This is how the conversation went (pseudo-verbatim):

Me: Come on mate, let us get on...there is still 35 minutes to go and we don't have any bags!

Disinterested check-in guy: I would allow you if I could but once the guy in charge says no, there is nothing that I can do.

The GF: Please (batting eyelids)...We really don't have any bags. It wouldn't take us very long to clear security.

Disinterested check-in guy: It's not that. It's just that they have to calculate the specific amount of fuel for each person that boards the plane. If I let you on, they would have to add more fuel to take the both of you into account, and it's simply a bit too late for that now!

Let us just pause this dialogue for a second and consider this 1 thing: Now I know that the business model of budget carriers involves very small profit margins for each flight. But this is simply ridiculous! They actually calculate the amount of fuel necessary based on the number of passengers on the flight! I was almost insulted that they thought the GF and I were so heavy that they actually needed to load on more fuel! I am actually surprised that they do not weigh each individual passenger before boarding to measure the fuel necessary by the kilogramme! I mean, what happens if the airplane upon arriving at the destination airport, has to make a few rounds around the airport because of landing congestion??!! Do they start throwing people off the plane to allow for longer flight time? I can just imagine it now:

Stewardess (On PA system on plane): Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently running short on fuel. Could all passengers weighing 95 kilogrammes and above please proceed to the emergency exits for an immediate exit of the plane. Due to budget constraints, we do not have any parachtutes on board as we would require extra fuel for this. However, if you would kindly put on your lifejackets and inflate it, this should provide you with some cushioning for your fall from 20,000 feet. In any case, because you all weigh more than 95 kilogrammes, your fat should provide you with more than adequate protection for the fall. To compensate you for your inconvenience, we have kindly decided to give you a complementary packet of nuts for your journey towards oblivion. On behalf of the Captain and First Officer, I would like to thank you for flying with us, and to wish you a safe onward journey.

Because of this incident, I have decided to become an airline snob! No more budget airlines for me once I can afford it. Only Singapore Airlines for me, baby! If SIA does not fly to the destination, I ain't going there. The only problem with this cunning plan is that a trip to Germany from London by SIA would likely involve a transit stop halfway around the world in Singapore. Hence, a 3 hour journey would turn into a 26 hour one. Hmmm...maybe I should just buy my own jetstream.

New Blog

I have decided - after a 9 month sabbatical from blogging - to create a new blog. One of the reasons for this is that I am entering a new phase of life working in London. Hence, new phase = new blog. But really, the real reason is that I simply cannot remember what the address of my previous blog was. As it is simply much easier to create a new blog than to hunt for my old one, it made sense to do the latter.

For those of you reading this from near and afar, enjoy! I know that I am really bad at keeping up with emails, so I am hoping that this will at least help us stay in touch!